The One and ONLY God (Jashin's Priestess)
by Mistress of Red Clouds
Summary: Tyrami and Yukami are sisters, and old friends of a certain Jashinists. The two of them get into trouble and leave their town... Only to join the Akatsuki! Set before Sasuke leaves. Pairings unknown yet. You vote! M for language and implied themes. Implied HidanOc (Ty) Fem!DeiXSaso PeinKonan other pairs unspecified (yet)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I _know_ I have a lot of unfinished work, but I've had this story for the longest amount of time, and decided to post it! I'm not quite sure of the pairings but.. yeah. Go read, you sexy readers~**

**Oh, yeah. Thanks to my five reviewers for **_**Akatsuki's kitten**_**- I have chapter 3 on paper but haven't typed it up yet. Keep an eye out for it, kay?**

**Kisame: Kon'nichiwa! Mistress-chan doesn't own me or any of the other characters from Naruto! She only wishes.**

**Me: Oi! It's Mistress-_sama,_ and I dream to have copy rights to Naruto.. One of these days, _Kishimoto_... One of these days...**

* * *

"Hare, Tiger report to my office ASAP." Yujiko Hitsoyushi, the leader of the small village of Yugakure spoke into a ear piece.

The two ANBU women appeared in Yujiko's office a few moments later. "Yes, Hitsoyushi-sama?" They chorused.

"You know what I want." He Said gruffly.

"Hitsoyushi-sama, we are not allowed to be romantically involved with our village leader. You know that." The younger woman stated disapprovingly.

The older sister held her tongue- if she spoke rudely to a man of great authority, she was sure to be punished. "I see what Tiger's decision is... hare..?" His ugly brown eyes peered into her rabbit mask and into her light green eyes. He must have misunderstood her silence, for he turned to Tiger. "Leave us." He ordered. Tiger poofed out of the room. "You know what to do Tyrami. Take your clothes off."

She inwardly winced at his commanding tone. Tyra removed the rabbit mask from her face, then let down her long black hair. Yujiko's mouth was on her neck instantly. She carefully removed her ANBU gear and placed it on the floor. She felt Yujiko's early arousal through his thin pants. He yanked off her shirt and marveled at her body. He pressed a kiss to her lips, then pushed her onto the desk. Hes always done this- never noticing the silent tears streaming down her face. Just as he was about to start with her, he fell on top of her, dead. There was a kunai stuck in the back of his head.

"Y-yukami..." Tyra called out to her younger sister, who was standing in the doorway of the office.

"Tyra... I had no choice... that was rape.." The brunette explained.

Tyra nodded, embarrassed by having to be saved by her little sister, and to be almost naked, with a dead man laying on top of her. "Thank you..." She cried.

"No problem... but... y'know we kinda killed the leader of this village... we should probably pack our things and nodded and pulled her clothes back on, picking up her discarded gear and putting It on. She put her hair back up in a tidy ponytail and put the rabbit mask on. Tyra was grateful that her shirt had a neck that was high enough that it covered where there was bound to be a mark from Yujiko's biting and sucking. "Why do you always let him do that?" Yukami asked her sister, as they poofed back to their house.

"I guess its just... well, I debt want a repeat of the Hatsujima incident..." They picked up scrolls.

"But.. you still let him do it to you...?" Picking up her clothes, Yukami did a few hand signs and the clothes were sealed into the scroll.

"Better me than you.. You're barely 17... why would I let that happen to you?" Tyrami did the same.

"Ty, you're 20! You should be living it up, not being... forced to do things that you obviously don't wanna do!" Yukami was in the kitchen now, packing the food that they had. Tyrami shrugged, then picked up two sleeping bags, a red one and a black one, and put them in the scroll. Yukami entered the living room again, holding enough food to last for a month.

"Go pack your clothes." Yukami told her sister.

Tyrami grumbled something under her breath, but went into her bedroom, picking up random piles of dirty clothes. "You're such a slob." Yukami said, standing in the doorway of Tyrami's room, staring in disgust at the messy room.

"Heh... thanks?" Tyrami offered a slice of mold pizza to her sister. When Yuka declined, Tyra took a bite, then threw the pizza behind her.

"Ew." Yukami groaned, picking a pile of clothes up.. there was a old bagel under them. She handed the three shirts and a pair of black shorts to her sister, who smelled them, deciding that they were clean enough, then sealed them into the scroll.

Soon, the girls were packed, and then they left.

Yuka was dressed in black ninja shorts, a red tank top, and had kunai and shuriken pouches on her sides. Tyrami had on basically the same outfit, except her shirt was black.

"We should stop soon." Yuka said, stopping in a clearing. Tyra agreed wholeheartedly, for she had been complaining about the trip for the past hour.

"I'm so glad that I'm not running anymore! It sucked!" she groaned, leaning down to start a fire, the old fashioned way- with two rocks and a stick.

Yuka pulled out some marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers "S'mores?"

"Definitely!" Her older sister cheered.

After they had devoured the s'mores, they sat around the fire for a little while. "I think I'm gonna hit the hay." Tyrami told her sister, standing up and stretching.

"Okay. I'll keep first watch."

Tyrami nodded sluggishly and turned to unroll her sleeping bag.

A loud crack broke the silence.

Both girls jumped to their feet, gaurds up. "Reveal yourself!" Tyrami commanded. Out of the darkness stepped two men in black cloaks.

"H-hidan?" Tyrami asked, shocked.

"Ty, Yu? What are you guys doing out here?"

"What are you doing here..?" Ty countered.

"I asked you bitches first."

"Fine. Yu killed Yujiko-sama!" Ty pointed her finger childishly at her sister.

"Only 'cuz he tried to rape you!"

"That's cuz I'm damn sexy! Plus, you could've just knocked him out!"

"Wait wait wait... that bastard tried to rape you?" Hidan practically shouted.

"Yeah, and he's actually done it before!" Yukami told the silver haired zealot.

"What the fuck, Ty! I fucking told you to take care of your fucking self!"

"I'm sorry! I just.. I didn't want a repeat of Hatsujima, okay?!" She screamed at him, then turned around and ran into the forest.

* * *

"Well, shit. I'm fucking lost.." Ty mumbled, kicking a rock and sitting on a log.

She heard another crack behind her, and she stiifened. That wasn't Hidan or Yu's chakra. It wasn't that guy that was with Hidan's chakra either.

There was another chakra signature and Ty subconsiously touched her fingers to the log. She channeled a small amount of chakra into it so she could she who the people were.

One had black hair and red eyes, the other was blue skinned. Uchiha Itachi and Hoshigaki Kisame.

She smirked and stood, facing the two. "Uchiha. Hoshigaki."

"Tyrami of the Grass." Kisame spoke, his voice gravelly and deep. He must yell alot... Or is used to being loud and rowdy. Itachi stayed quiet, evaluating the girl's chakra and body movements, anticipating her actions.

She smiled at them. "So you know me, then?"

"Very well, actually.. You see, we've been following you and your sister for a while now." Uchiha Itachi's voice was smooth and deep, a perfect sound. He sounded unused to using it. He must not speak much, Tyra concluded.

"Ah.. So it was you who was keeping tabs on us. I figured the Akatsuki were following us. That's why the immortal and the miser approached us."

"Tell me, Why do you adress your fellow Jashinist as such? Are you trying to fool us? I have already told you, we know everything about you."

"Not everything." Ty chuckled. "There are alot of things I have chosen not to reveal to you... Yet. But now that you're about to try and force me into joining your oganization, I will expound onto you the secrets of eternal life."

The two looked at the girl with slight amusement.

"When one is transformed into a Jashinist, their hair becomes either gold or silver, depending on how Jashin values you. You see, I am one of his very devoted followers. In fact, I am his priestess, so when I was converted, my hair was colored pure white. That is the highest honor, besides having black hair. I hide my true hair color in a henge, as does my sister. We do this to confuse enemies. What am I forgetting.. Uh... I am not a true virgin- I have been 'defiled' many times, but erm.. This next part will be awkward, so i'll explain it like this: Whenever I am harmed, I shall be immediately healed."

Itachi had a look of understanding, and Kisame looked confused. "What?"

"Kisame." The blue man looked at his partner. Itachi motioned him closer and whispered in his ear. The man turned a purple tint after Itachi had finished.

"Yeah yeah. So, you really don't know everything." Ty smiled cheekily. "You just think that you do."

Itachi glanced at Kisame for half of a second. His face was fading out of purple and Itachi shook his head.

"I, however, Know everything about you."

Itachi averted his gaze to the girl. He had no doubt that this girl- this god- knew all of his secrets.

"Your secrets are safe with me." She grinned. "Anyways, I'm not really interested in joining, but I have no doubt that you'll force me.. Like that blonde chap.. Anyways, lead me to the base.."

* * *

Yukami struggled against the threads that were wrapped around her. She knew that the more she struggled, the tighter they got.. It didn't hurt- it was just extremely uncomfortable for the immortal girl. "Hidan, you ass! Let us go!"

With a chuckle, the thread holder tightened his strange tentacle-threads. "Are you uncomfortable?"

Yuka smiled, then started gnawing on her 'ropes.'

Hidan and his partner drug the girl through the forest while she winced at every bump she hit, every rock that dug into her bag, every stick that stabbed her. After about twenty minutes of running, the duo stopped. "Crow and Shark are up ahead." The tanned octopus tailor (as Yuka dubbed the miser) said, then cautiously walked to the edge of the forest, then glanced out. "It's safe to go." Hidan barreled through the foliage, then tripped over a rock, three feet from the duo.

"Oi, where the fuck is Tyrami?"

Kisame silenced the man with a kick and stage whispered, "She fell asleep on Itachi's back."

Itachi glared at the taller man. "She refused to touch Kisame."

Hidan chuckled and glanced over the Uchiha's shoulder at the sleeping jashinist. "She never really like sharks."

Yukami and Kakuzu came into view and Kisame blinked questioningly at the girl, who was being drug in a sitting up position.

"I'll take first watch." Itachi said, placing Ty against a tree. The other members spead out their sleeping mats and slept.

* * *

**Yeah, at first the characters were supposed to be me and my 14 year old sister, but I changed it.. Yuka still had Kaylee's personality but they aren't quite the same. So, yeah.**

**I'm thinking... ItaOc and TobiOc? Tobi hasn't came in yet, but I think you'll see him next time.**

**Scratch that, I'll do a poll!**

** Anyways, leave a review, mmkay? I wrote this back in December, but only added on recently. Whoo! Anyyways, I'll have updates soon, I promise! My bitchy twelve year old sister is nagging at me to get off the desktop, (Jashin, I hate her..) So, I guess it's Ja Ne...**

**Remember to review and you'll get a cookie!**


	2. A fucking CASTLE?

**Sorry guise!**

**Short one, this time D:**

**Disclaimer: Mistress of Red Clouds does not own Naruto, Shonen (- Sp?) Jump, Ramen Noodles, Soup, Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, Johnny Depp, but she does own a stuffed panda named Gaara that she is proud to call her thunder-buddy, and a very overactive imagination.**

**Reading this Fanfiction may result in bleeding of the eyes, ears, or other orphises. It is strongly recommended that before you read this remember not to hate on the writer of this story because of this chapter's utter crap-ness.**

* * *

The next morning, Tyrami awoke and shoved her hog-tied sister off of her. "Get the fuck off, dipshit."

Yukami groaned, the opened her eyes. This was so gay. "Mff! Mff fmm!" She struggled to talk to her sister.

"Yu, shut the hell up, Ty, you're a bitch." Hidan informed the two that he was awake.

"Hidan, you shut the fuck up, I'm the best!" Ty yelled, the quieted herself. "Jashin, my back is killing me."

"You slept sitting up.." Kisame informed her- Itachi had woken him up at about 5 to change shifts.

"Well, I think that Yu here, had a very restful sleep on top of me!" Ty yelled at her sister. "Wait, when did you get your mouth tied up?"

Yu glared at the miser, who was counting his money. "She kept gnawing on the ropes, so I gagged her." Ty shrugged and stod up, cracking her back in the process.

"Ah, shit. That hits the spot." She sighed in relief. "Jashin, that's good."

Kisame shuddered at the loud cracking of the small girl's bones. "That can't be healthy."

Ty smiled and shrugged. "I'm perfectly healthy. Jashinists can't get sick." She stood and glanced at the group. How did she even get into this mess? It was crazy, confusing, scary.. And yet, it felt right. Each person has a specific destiny, and this was most likely hers.

"Pack up, we're leaving in fifteen minutes." Itachi's calm voice said, drawing Ty out of her reverie.

"Hai." She said, unconsciously picking up the blanket that had been draped over her and her sister. Yukami, on the other hand, tried to work the ropes off of here. Kakuzu smirked and snapped his fingers. The ropes fell off, and Yukami held herself back from tackling the man and biting him.

"You're a bit bitter, aren't you?"

"Fuck you!" Yu screamed, turning away from the miser with a huff of indignation. Kisame laughed dryly and patted the short brunette's head, which caused Yukami to unleash her anger and bite Kisame.

After Kisame had stopped crying like a little baby (really, Yukami had drew blood, and Kisame was in the process of assuring his partner that it would scar.) Itachi made the order to move out. He flatly told Ty that he would not carry her again.

"I didn't expect you to, asshat." Ty said, waving him away, her thumbnail in between her teeth. It was a nasty habit that she couldn't seem to shake, no matter how hard she tried with as many different methods as she could find.

"Hn." Itachi grunted and the group of Akatsukians left the campsite.

* * *

After several hours of running and running, the group came to a halt. Yukami sighed in relief and slouched. Her sister stood still, chewing her thumbnail.

"Welcome to your new home, bitches." Hidan shouted, running towards the cave.

"It's a fucking cave, or are you a fucking retard?" Yukami remarked snarkily, shouldering the bag she had dropped.

"The headquarters are in the cave, bitch!" Hidan sneered, flipping his childhood friend off.

Kisame and Kakuzu seperated the squabbling _children_ and Ty watched in mild interest as the Uchiha formed a series of handsigns and the cave fell out of the genjutsu to reveal a castle.

"It's a fucking castle. What the actual fuck?" Yukami yelled as the Akatsuki approached the castle.

"Yeah, it's legit as fuck." Hidan said excitedly. "I'll give you a fuckin tou-"

"The girls must visit with Leader." Itachi cut the zealot off and lead the sisters to a door to the left. "This is Leader's quarters." He knocked on the door three times and waited for a blue haired girl to answer it.

"Are these the girls?" She asked, letting the small group of Kisame and Itachi, and Yuka and Tyra in.

"Yes, Konan-san." Itachi said, bowing to the girl. Kisame nodded at her, and Konan nodded back at both of them.

"They are quite lovely, Leader-sama is waiting for the girls. He will make sure that they are worthy of being Akatsuki in his office." Konan said, pushing the sisters in the direction of a door that screamed "intimidating."

Tyrami knocked on the door, and a deep voice said, "Enter."

Pushing the door open, Tyrami and Yukami entered the room that they were sure that they would die in.

* * *

They were greeted by a man hidden in the shadows. "So, you come here on the day of my daughter's wedding and want to join my organization?" He said in a fake Godfather accent.

"Uh, No. Actually. We were firkin drug here- well I was- by a bunch of loons!" Yukami said as the guy paused.

"Well, I ain't gonna let yous twos join for _free. _You have to earn your way in."

Ty sighed as the man continued with the faux accent. "Get to the point."

The leader cleared his throat. "You have to defeat an member of the Akatsuki."

"Done." Ty and Yu chorused. "Are we dismissed?"

"Hai. The battles begin in an hour. Yukami, you begin, Tyrami, you follow up."

"Hai.." The sisters yet again chorused and left the room.

Konan, Itachi, and Kisame were waiting. "Which accent was it this time? Elvis? Shakespeare? Ooh, I bet it was Christopher Walken." Konan chuckled.

"Close. It was the Godfather." Ty said as she and her younger sister stopped in front of the trio.

Kisame silently handed Itachi a paper bill. Konan chuckled. "Who will you fight?"

"We only know six akatsuki members." Yu commented.

Konan turned to Kisame. "Introduce them to the rest. Deidara and Sasori are most likely fighting about art in the Art Room, and Tobi and Zetsu are probably in the garden, harvesting Zetsu's tree."

"Hai." Kisame said, smiling at the girls. "You get the grand tour from the best guide ever."

* * *

"Are you sure that Kisame can be trusted to not get lost?" Itachi asked Konan once the shark-man and the sisters were gone.

"No, but that just adds humor to the story." The blue haired woman chuckled.

"Konan, you just broke the fourth wall... Again." Itachi pointed out.

"Oops! Better call the repairman.. Again."

* * *

**There you have it, folks! It's approximately 5:30 AM, so yeah. I honestly couldn't sleep because of a scary story (damn Creepypasta) and not even my thunderbuddy can make it better lol.**

**I'm sorry that it's a bit short and crappy, but the girls meet the others soon! Woot! Again, I apologize for lack of length, humor, and plot, but the poll's up for Ty's pair! I'm leaning toward Itachi, but that's me.**

**I want you guys to choose.**

**Also, you don't have to do the poll, just leave your opinion here.**

**Choices are:**

**ItachiXTy**

**SasoriXTy**

**HidanXTy**

**DeidaraXTy**

**Side note: Everytime I get a reveiw, I do this happy dance that scares my mom. Liek, I'll check my e-mail and I'll see a reveiw, and then I dance. It literally scares whoever is passing by at the time. Lol. **

**Damn, my AU is so long, possibly longer than this chapter. ****Lol, oh well. I'm moving soon, and it's hard to find time to post for you lot.**

**As always, Fair Winds, and leave a reveiw. (Pleaseee?)**


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